The Lie of Stuck
enter the chaos of new choices

A lot of psychic sessions start this way. Folks who've been in a holding pattern for months, sometimes years, unable to see their alternatives.

We get to be like a dog with a bone, don't we? So fixated on how we thought it would play out that we've lost perspective on the whole.

This is really a story of control isn't it? Do you know how controlling you are? Well, take comfort! You're in good company! A quick glance at control informs us that we do it because we inherently don’t trust life. We’ve got no sense of connectivity to each other, to nature, to the cosmos or any divine order. This shows up in the form of statements, assumptions and conclusions, even righteousness. We believe we’re completely and utterly adrift and we’ll do just about anything to achieve certainty. But is anything certain?

What if, the energy with which you create your life is an interconnected and chaotic space. Non-linear and totally threatening to our yearning for order. Is it possible that we can learn to get comfortable with chaos? Can we learn to ease up control?

I've played with all of this first hand. Especially in the areas of business and relationship. In business I took marketing courses, spent money on ads, all to not discernible uptick in jewelry sales (yeah I did that too). In relationship, I dug in, remained committed to an institution and person that had long ago left me out of their equation.

Then I let go of it, all of it.

In business I decided to try it a different way. I decided that if I didn't feel good, if I wasn't in a state of joy, then I wasn't likely making money. That simple. So I put down the hustle and grind culture that I was mimicking and last year, the year I made this pivot, I made 15K more then the previous year. Not bad!

Relationship was a bit stickier and trickier. And this is worthy of a whole different newsletter, but in the chaos of my kids severe struggling, I surrendered to the complete and utter chaos of not having any idea of what I was doing as a parent. I showed up for them the best I could. I welcomed the help of professionals who stepped in (thank god for them)! And then I went Rollerskating. Yes, you got that right. In the midst of my kids severe crisis I chose me. It was in the middle of that decision, to choose joy in the darkest hours, that I awakened to knowing my marriage was over. I was submerged in a state of complete and total chaos.

It's in these moments that we fear chaos will swallow us whole. That we’ll circle the drain endlessnessly. That we’ll finally succumb to some unknown detrimental force. But that isn't what happens at all.

What does happen is that chaos brings new choices. And with every new choice, new avenues open up. You may not always like the new options, that's ok just pick one anyway. They choices will keep growing more attractive over time. How will that happen?. By making choices that:

Bring you a sense of ease and lightness
By ignoring obligation and all the coulds and shoulds
By prioritizing your pleasure including and most especially sexual pleasure

You'll be infinitely better positioned to get what you want this way. Versus making decisions the old way, prioritizing others and negating yourself. So can I encourage you to let go of the reins a bit? As someone who's been in the ditch can I assure you getting up and dusting yourself off is not so bad after all? Can I let you know that the end of things equally brings new beginnings?

As always, here if you need me.